Don’t tell Mummy that we headed to the park
with your designer top on inside out
because Granny was distracted
by your very loud crying bout.
Don’t tell Daddy that you tipped out of your pushchair
because Granny hadn’t quite worked out
how to clip in every last strap in there.
(The grass was soft
I held you aloft,
you laughed. So did I – with relief!)
Please don’t breathe a word
About later – on Date Night –
when you were wide eyed past the hour
and with YouTube Baby on repeat
I picked you up and rocked you
back to sleep.
We mustn’t let it show
that with Grannyhood belated
my skills are rather dated.
So if you help keep up the bluff
and I minimise the duffs
I promise you, we’ll make it.
Do you have any grandparenting stories that you’d like to share? Get in touch via email@example.com…