This week, The Joy Club member and facilitator Kathy Feest shares her thoughts and top tips on the importance of writing your will…
Have you thought about making a will lately? It’s not the nicest of activities but it is better if you make a will than if you leave everything you ever owned to a faceless bureaucrat to sort out. And if you die intestate, that is precisely what will happen. Intestate simply means, you die without having written a will. No will means that you are leaving your affairs in the hands of someone else to resolve. Better to have someone appointed to help sort these things out for you don’t you think?
Ah but there it comes, thinking about the big D. Possibly the one thought we want to put off for as long as we can. And there’s the rub. And what’s even worse? The death you are having to contemplate is your own. In order to make your will, no matter how you go about it, you can’t ignore the fact that in order for any of your wishes to be granted, you must die. Over 60 percent of adults, that’s thirty million people in the UK, die without making a will. Thirty million of us don’t like to grapple with that reality it seems!
Will making can be a productive and useful exercise for you if you grab your life by the horns and decide what you want. An added benefit is perhaps the beginning of a discussion with, if not your loved ones, at least yourself, about the day when you will inevitably leave the planet.
As I am not knowledgeable about the legal aspect of these things, you might begin by having a look at https://www.gov.uk/make-will or https://www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/making-a-will/understanding-the-costs/ to understand what is required. What I do know from personal experience however, is that where things often go wrong in will making has less to do with money, and a lot more to do with emotions.
Sometimes during this process, even when people are trying to be fair and honourable to their family and or friends, they may seem to get it wrong. The solution? Think it through. Maybe even talk to your family about what you intend or how you see things playing out after you leave the planet. And yes, sadly, it means that you might even mention the D word to them. Not a nice thought and perhaps one of the reasons why so many people leave it too late, or don’t engage while they are indeed fully engaged with the rest of their world.
The emotional kick comes for those left behind when they ask why didn’t Granny, Mum, Dad, Aunty Sue leave me, my brother, sister, pooch, what I thought she would? Perhaps you think that the family will just sort it all out after you’re gone. Sadly, it won’t be arranged unless you have considered it all, thought it through and stated your wishes beforehand. If there are any issues that you think might be contentious, it’s helpful to talk to your family and or friends and explain your thinking before you write your will. However, it is your will and you mustn’t allow yourself to be pressurised into anything you don’t want. Think it through. Emotions run high when death occurs and wills are read. Beneficiaries may perceive your will as unfair and disputed wills can tear families apart. Contested wills are on the rise in the UK, with 10,000 people contesting wills each year. With many more second marriages, people cohabiting and blended and non traditional family set ups, there are often highly charged emotions that lead to disputes. Communicating your desires beforehand helps to avoid the litigation lawyers ending up with a sizable portion of your money after your death.
There are stories of people leaving things for others that make us laugh, cry or both. Have you heard about the aristocratic one hundred and five year old woman who died in 2015 and left her remaining family fortune to a man she met in the 1960s rather than to her family? https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/devon-aristocrat-105-leaves-money-898679. Then there is the touching story from the renowned comedian Jack Benny. He left a provision in his will to have one long stemmed red rose delivered to his widow every day until her death.
My husband and I plan to update our will any day now…maybe this will prompt us to do just that later this week. Don’t put it off, you never know what is around the corner. Meantime, take pleasure in every minute of your life and your good fortune now! Talk to those you love and share your feelings. They matter more than you may think. Enjoy!