The Joy Club writers’ showcase: Dear Me
We’re delighted to introduce our first ever The Joy Club writers’ showcase. Our members have been discovering their literary voices and crafting some brilliant poetry and stories. We have been awed by the talent and variety of work produced and feel it would be a huge shame to keep it behind doors! That’s why we’ve collated a selection of our members’ writing to share with you… This next piece from our writers’ showcase is a poem by our member Janet, entitled ‘Dear Me’.
Dear Me by Janet Goudie
Dear me indeed; what can I say,
After your actions of yesterday.
It was your birthday; we all know that.
But did you need to act like a prize prat.
And behave in such a way.
It started fine with friends galore.
There was Meg, Jane, Pam and cousin Pearl.
A group was playing at the local
‘Uncle Remus’ was their title.
We planned to have a ball.
We soon got in the party mood,
There was drink and food as well.
You danced a knees-up, tried to sing,
It was all going with a swing
Until the interval.
You went round kissing all the men;
They didn’t seem to mind.
But one woman she got quite sore,
When her fellow wanted more.
And you were willing to oblige.
She hit you with her handbag;
It was not a pretty sight
But when she tried to pull your hair
You started yelling “That’s not fair.
I am not looking for a fight.”
We dragged you out into the street.
It was clear you’d had enough.
Twas time to hit the hay, we said.
But you weren’t ready for your bed.
And headed off towards the pub.
We saw a policeman on the way;
He was a friendly copper.
That was until you pinched his bum,
And tried to get his shirt undone.
It really was improper.
He said “Now Miss, I must be firm.
That’s quite enough of that.
Just go home, you’ve had your fun.
We’ll just forget what you have done.”
But then you threw up in his hat.
He was about to call the nick,
When a panda car came past.
“Come quietly, Miss, but if you fail,
Clearly, you will end up in jail.
We don’t want a song and a dance.”
As you looked so innocent
And had reached that special age,
They dismissed you with a warning
Said report here in the morning.
See what the Chief Inspector says.
Headache and morning has arrived,
And you need to show your face.
But to make a good impression
You must be ready for this session
Prepare to put your case.
“It’s clear you are repentant,”
The inspector was quite tasty
I’ll let you off, but before you go,
There’s something that I need to know.
Are you really five and eighty?
Oh Dear Me!
Read more of our members’ stories and poems in the complete The Joy Club writers’ showcase: Term 2.
Do you have a love of words? You can find out more about joining our Creative Writing sessions here.
Not yet a member of The Joy Club, but want to come and join us? Sign up for free today!